Rayne Started It……….Well Actually Melen Did
Rayne was recently given an assignment by her Owner, Melen, to write about how his job affects her and their relationship. You can read her post here. For those of you at all familiar with either of us, you know we are extremely close. We are also very similar in a lot of ways. One of those ways happens to be how often our Owners are away from us working. I always say to her “Well at least you can look at your husband.” I know how stressful Melen’s job is, and I know how much responsibility is put on him. I think a lot of the reason we’ve gotten so close over the last year is because we’re always left alone to our own devices while they toil away to take care of us.
I probably don’t say as much about the irritation that I deal with about Kris being gone so damn much, but it’s a huge pain. Being a roughneck is one of the most dangerous and physically demanding jobs out there. I worry constantly, thinking of him being high up in that derrick, and knowing how often a derrick man gets hung up in the cables or falls from 120 ft., well, that’s hard. He works so much, it’s just stupid. He leaves at noon and gets home about 11:30pm, and that’s on a good day, sometimes he works from 5am-midnight. I never see him for longer than an hour or two a day. He’s too tired to have sex as often as we both would like. He pretty much spends less than 30 minutes with our kids a week. I always feel like a single mother.
On the rare occasion that he does get a day or two off, we spend so much time getting errands and other things done that there is no time left over to just sit and be a family. I’m sure Rayne can count on one hand how many times I’ve told her “Kris and I are playing with the kids.”. Even when we’ve had to move, he was only around long enough to carry the heavy stuff in, and then the rest was left up to me. Packing and unpacking, having to guess how he might want his stuff put away, and then having to wait to see what he’s gonna say about it, and changing it up for him.
I feel worse for him though. He misses everything that happens in our lives. He works most holidays, and misses every school function the girl has. He even had to work the day we got married, thank god he was off in time to get dressed. There will never be vacations here, unless the kids and I go alone. The man never stops running, except when he barely makes it to bed and passes out. He has a son who idolizes every move he makes, but he can’t stop long enough to pick him up and hug him, or show him how to fix things on his tool bench play set. Our first wedding anniversary is coming up in 3 weeks, and we’ll both be alone (if you don’t count kids and coworkers). The next day, Valentine’s Day, forget it, not even a chance we’ll be together.
His job is not easy to deal with, but I know how much he loves his job. As long as his job makes him happy, then I guess it’s my job to be happy as well. It hurts all of us when he’s gone so much, but without it we wouldn’t have much of anything. I do my part, by remaining strong, and letting my kids know when they don’t understand that Daddy loves us very much and that’s why he’s working. I do my part, by letting him know that I support every decision he makes concerning his job. I do my part by making as much as possible easier for him when he’s home.
I miss my husband very much. My kids miss their Dad. It’s just part of the territory I guess.
Roughneck wives have a saying: “If you love the man, you better learn to love the rig, or you won’t last long.”