The King and I
There has been a lot of discussion going on between Kris and I about our relationship. The last 6 months have put a huge strain on us, but it finally appears to be dissipating. We have decided to no longer identify as Master/slave and just stick to Owner/property. I suppose the label isn’t really the important part, we just felt that O/p is more natural for us. He had grown tired of being called Master, and felt it was forcing him into something he wasn’t ready for yet. Once we discussed this aspect, a lot of tension between us just disappeared. I had no clue that my own interest in M/s relationships was causing so much stress for him, since he felt compelled to fit into a set mold he wasn’t comfortable with. A lot of things still stand that we had when we identified as M/s, such as I am still not allowed to leave under any circumstances, and he is still the boss.
We are finally getting caught up on the past due bills that he has been freaking out over. It really seems as if things are taking a turn for the better, and I can definitely see a change in Kris because of it. I think I still have some issues to work through for myself, but our marriage is out of the woods. Even the people we spend most of our time with have noticed the change in our interaction with each other. Our sex life has been fantastic lately, and I’m pretty sure we are making everyone sick with all the affection we’ve been showing each other. We are both really excited about our 1 year wedding anniversary coming up in February. I’m not sure what he has planned yet, but I know it will be awesome!
I have agreed to continue to work on my submission outside of the bedroom for him, and I wish I knew why it has been so difficult for me to figure out. When I am submissive to him it makes me very happy, but I guess all the years I have spent trying to make men the bad guys has set me back a long way. I am, by no stretch of the word, a feminist. Actually, I am probably closer to the exact opposite of a feminist. I believe women have a place, and they should stay there. I honestly just don’t get all the hype about women being equal. What’s wrong with women and men being in their own roles? I would never ask my cat to act like a dog.
I have also agreed to seek help for my depression and anxiety. I want to thank everyone who sent out comments of encouragement to me in my “I Hurt Myself Today” post. I know even once I get on meds it will take time to see the full effects, but I would rather be on meds or in therapy than lose my family. I’ve been through that before, and I don’t want to do it again.
One last thing, I have an assload of reviews to get done so my feeds may be flooded with reviews for a while, but I am planning on doing some posts in between here and there. I have a series of posts planned that I think everyone may enjoy, come back often to check on it.