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The King and I

January 4, 2010

There has been a lot of discussion going on between Kris and I about our relationship. The last 6 months have put a huge strain on us, but it finally appears to be dissipating. We have decided to no longer identify as Master/slave and just stick to Owner/property. I suppose the label isn’t really the important part, we just felt that O/p is more natural for us. He had grown tired of being called Master, and felt it was forcing him into something he wasn’t ready for yet. Once we discussed this aspect, a lot of tension between us just disappeared. I had no clue that my own interest in M/s relationships was causing so much stress for him, since he felt compelled to fit into a set mold he wasn’t comfortable with. A lot of things still stand that we had when we identified as M/s, such as I am still not allowed to leave under any circumstances, and he is still the boss.

We are finally getting caught up on the past due bills that he has been freaking out over. It really seems as if things are taking a turn for the better, and I can definitely see a change in Kris because of it. I think I still have some issues to work through for myself, but our marriage is out of the woods. Even the people we spend most of our time with have noticed the change in our interaction with each other. Our sex life has been fantastic lately, and I’m pretty sure we are making everyone sick with all the affection we’ve been showing each other. We are both really excited about our 1 year wedding anniversary coming up in February. I’m not sure what he has planned yet, but I know it will be awesome!

I have agreed to continue to work on my submission outside of the bedroom for him, and I wish I knew why it has been so difficult for me to figure out. When I am submissive to him it makes me very happy, but I guess all the years I have spent trying to make men the bad guys has set me back a long way. I am, by no stretch of the word, a feminist. Actually, I am probably closer to the exact opposite of a feminist. I believe women have a place, and they should stay there. I honestly just don’t get all the hype about women being equal. What’s wrong with women and men being in their own roles? I would never ask my cat to act like a dog.

I have also agreed to seek help for my depression and anxiety. I want to thank everyone who sent out comments of encouragement to me in my “I Hurt Myself Today” post. I know even once I get on meds it will take time to see the full effects, but I would rather be on meds or in therapy than lose my family. I’ve been through that before, and I don’t want to do it again.

One last thing, I have an assload of reviews to get done so my feeds may be flooded with reviews for a while, but I am planning on doing some posts in between here and there. I have a series of posts planned that I think everyone may enjoy, come back often to check on it.

7 Comments leave one →
  1. January 4, 2010 7:42 pm

    What’s wrong with women and men being in their own roles?

    What’s wrong with it is: those roles don’t actually exist. They are constructed by society. There is nothing that biologically determines that women and men have specific “places,” and if you really think it’s okay for women to be viewed as lesser than men… I have a problem with that.

  2. January 4, 2010 8:59 pm

    The right to vote, go to work, and not be dependent on men is a fantastic cause!

    Making every girl feel bad because she likes Disney movies, sorry, it gets a thumbs down from me. Running around talking about how demeaning porn is to women, even though the women involved are completely comfortable with what they do, thumbs down dude, sorry. Insisting on saving women from relationships you deem abusive, just because BDSM is some thing men made up so they could abuse, nuh uh. I ain’t buying it.

    Fairy tales aren’t evil. Some women like sex and don’t mind the world knowing it. Some women like to be beat, and don’t consider it to be abuse in the context of their relationships. If you dress like a whore and act like a whore, DO NOT be upset when you are treated like one.

    I am not against feminists, however I don’t take their side most of the time because their arguments have no basis in actual fact. They are usually hypocrites who just hate men.

    @Epiphora
    Sorry if I came across as not being down with equal rights, because I am. I just don’t get the bullshit they try to play off as fact that has no solid ground to stand on.

    • January 4, 2010 9:04 pm

      Well here’s the thing. Feminism is an incredibly broad term. Sure, some feminists are guilty of the things you’re mentioning, but only some. Obviously, I’m a feminist and I love porn, sex, and am supportive of BDSM. Straight up, I am for the equal treatment of women and letting women do what they want — which includes performing in porn and getting beat up in the bedroom.

      Not all, or even most, of feminists are “hypocrites who just hate men.” Read some feminist blogs and don’t buy into the stereotype. 🙂

  3. January 4, 2010 9:13 pm

    I digress! You make a great point!

    This actually brings me to a recent conversation with someone who didn’t understand the BDSM relationship. No matter how much I told them about SSC and RACK, they just didn’t get it. There is a bad stereotype about people who participate in BDSM. For the most part it’s total crap. Take me for instance, my life looks entirely normal from the outside, and few people in my life have any clue whatsoever what I do inside the four walls of my home!

    Luckily, unlike them, I have an open-mind and am usually open to suggestion. I’ll take a look into this for a week or two, and report back in a post what i have found about these sex positive, men loving feminists! Lol.

  4. January 4, 2010 9:22 pm

    I’m really sorry you’ve gotten the wrong view of feminists. Not all feminists are man-hating and anti-porn. Actually, you’ll find that most are the exact opposite.

    As far as gender roles – there are none. I actually saw a news cast this morning about how dolls “help girls learn their role” and I was completely outraged that a station would air this shit. Gender roles don’t exist and honestly should be totally disregarded by now.

  5. January 4, 2010 9:50 pm

    @Saraid
    My ideal life does include very specific gender roles! I realize this isn’t for everyone. I should know this, BDSM gets the same rap in a lot of circles. I am not ashamed to feel the way I do at all, however, I am all for the gay, lesbian, and bisexual rights movement! I totally see what you’re saying. I have to even admit some M-F transsexuals are so hot! Chicks with dicks, omg, I want one! 🙂

  6. January 8, 2010 3:41 pm

    I believe women have a place, and they should stay there. I honestly just don’t get all the hype about women being equal. What’s wrong with women and men being in their own roles? I would never ask my cat to act like a dog.

    You know I agree with this. I mean, I want to behave the way American society in the 50s thought I should. I enjoy it, most of the time. And in my version of a perfect world, everyone would be comfortable living that way.

    However! Ep is right in that our roles are not biologically determined. They were, at one time, societal norms. They’re not, really, anymore. In some cases, yes, but women are becoming more and more independent and confident.

    What’s wrong with men and women being in their own roles? Nothing, whatever, if they have chosen those roles for themselves. But some people don’t see life with gender-specific lines. And there’s really nothing wrong with that either.

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