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I just want one good day

July 5, 2009

Things just aren’t going right. There is no happiness between us. There is almost no sex. We don’t hate each other, but we often act as though we do. We can’t even have a simple conversation most of the time without getting into a fight. We’re backsliding, and it’s not pretty. Rayne is right, we are both to blame. We should both accept that, and move forward from there.

The thing is, it’s not our M/s I’m worried about anymore, it’s us, and um……well that’s scary. I know that it’s probably just stress from things that have nothing to do with us, or not having any money, or whatever, but I’m ready for this to be over with. I know we will come out stronger and closer on the other side, but is it really necessary for us to actually go through it first? Can we not just skip to the stronger and closer part?

I keep trying to come up with blogs about BDSM, but every time I start researching a topic, it always turns into something negative. I’m tired of being negative. I’m tired of Master being negative. It seems like there is no end to it either. More bad things just keep piling up, we had a death in the family this week. It’s like a tsunami of negativity has washed over us, and now we’re drowning in it. Even I am having a hard time putting on a happy face anymore, no matter who I’m around. I’m just sad.

sad

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