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May 11, 2009

This weekend has brought on a lot of emotions, and it’s taken a while to sort them out. I have been a tad snippy at Master while He’s been home, and nothing seems to be going right in my head. This morning with time alone to ponder it, I think I’m starting to resist and panic. Master ordered my collar Wednesday, and each day it’s closer to being here. Each day we move closer to finalizing our M/s relationship, and it’s a scary concept to move into. Oh sure, I knew it was coming, but you’re never nervous about performing until it’s time to get on stage, right? I don’t know what to do to calm these fears, or what to say to Master either. I don’t want to stop, or change things. I have been so happy, and I know this is the path for me. Do I dismiss it as all that is retarded? Should I request that we slow down? Do I request time to discuss my fears and ask Master to help overcome them? I know this too shall pass, but I don’t want to overlook anything that may be important, ya know?

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